Finding Prince Charming

Tonia & Tim

On Mothers Day, 2011, I was home noodling around on Facebook, and a guy I dated in high school, suddenly Facebook-chatted me, “Hello there”.  With those two words, my life would change forever.

During the summer of 1978, Tim was 18 years old, and an umpire for the little league baseball association in our small East Texas town.  My little brother played baseball, and my dad was coach of his team.  My dad was very sick with brain cancer and epilepsy.  Little did I know, but this would be the last summer Daddy spent with us, the last summer he enjoyed any normalcy of life.

Tim asked Daddy after the games one night, if he could take me for a coke and take me home.  I was only 13 at the time, so imagine my surprise when Daddy said yes.  Tim lived just a few doors down from us on the same street, and everybody knew everybody in my home town.  Tim and I went to the Sonic for cokes, and drove around talking before he took me home.  It became part of going to the games, and we really enjoyed each other’s company.

But one night, we pulled up to some friends to visit, and things changed.  Tim was talking to our friend Tommy, who was hitting golf balls with Thomas.  I had always had a little crush on Thomas, so I confess that I lost interest with Tim, and to quote Tim, “hung my head out the window at Thomas”.  We don’t remember much about what happened, but when he took me home, we didn’t go out again.

Over the years, whenever I thought of Tim, I always felt bad for not treating him right that night.  So, when he chatted me, after the niceties of hello old friend, what have you been doing, etc., I apologized.  At first he didn’t know what I was talking about, and told me not to worry about it.  Neither of us remember what exactly happened, but that we just didn’t go out again after that night.

After we chatted awhile, I had to get off Facebook to go swimming as promised with my son, so I gave Tim my phone number.  He called later, and we talked a long time.  As soon as we could, he drove up to see me.  Before he left shortly after, he kissed me.  The feelings I had for him almost overwhelmed me, but in a really good way.  I learned later that he drove over an hour to see me.

I had just ended an abusive relationship, and my divorce, which took eighteen months, was final by 60 days.  I had written a list of attributes of the soul mate and partner I truly desired in life.  I prayed to God about the list, and asked God, if it was His will, to bring someone into my life to share my life with.  I wanted a Christian husband, father for my son, leader of my home, with a good, steady job, who loved to laugh, watch old movies and baseball, and loved animals (particularly cats).  Tim fulfilled every item on the list perfectly.

The timing was perfect, too.  In my mind, I had always heard that your divorce wasn’t truly final until 60 days after the divorce hearing was held.  Tim contacted me on the 60th day.  Exactly.  I didn’t notice it at the time, but later I counted the days and was stunned.  I don’t know why I was surprised, tho.  God loves to amaze us with his perfect timing.  He is so good to us, just sometimes we don’t take the time to see how perfect His timing truly is!!

God truly blessed me with Tim.  We have been together almost five years, and it’s been the happiest five years of my life, hands down.  He brought children and a grandchild into our marriage, and we had a second grandchild added to the family a year and a half ago, and a new daughter-in-law is joining the family in a couple of weeks. He has been the Daddy that Robbie has always longed for.  Robbie also lost his one sibling when he was little, and now he has two brothers, a sister and two nephews.

When I lost my daughter in 2015, I thought my life was over.  When I was in the depths of despair in an abusive relationship with nowhere to turn, still grieving my daughter, I didn’t want to go on.  Leaving that disastrous relationship was frightening, and I didn’t think for a moment life would be easy, or that I would be filled with joy.

Tim leads our family as the Christian leader of our home.  We pray before meals and for each other.  We attend church together as a family.  We strive to always put God first.  We pray together when we make decisions, even minor ones.  We pray for our kids.  We study God’s Word.  And we encourage our kids in their faith as well.

Tim helps us all enjoy life, together as a family.  Life with Tim is FUN!  We love getting all the kids together in our tiny house, full to bursting with laughter, love and chaos.  We have blended better than I could have ever hoped.  We have had struggles, but overall it has been good.

Tim’s daughter and I have never had an easy relationship, and that hurt me deeply in the beginning.  She is 22 days older than Jordan, and I truly believe that God brought us together on purpose.  I can’t believe God would allow my daughter to die at such a young age, then bring Tim into my life with a daughter exactly the same age, if it weren’t for meaningful purpose.  I pray for her and wish I could heal our relationship, but I have given it over to God to allow Him to work it out in the way He desires.  I’m not looking to be her mom, or to have a mother/daughter relationship.  But I have a lot of love I want deeply to share with her, as a friend, companion, or loved one, if she would only be open to it…

After all, God answered my prayers for a soul mate and partner, and brought Prince Charming into my life!  God is good, all the time.  And all the time, God is good!

“This same God who takes care of me will supply all your needs from His glorious riches, which have been given to us in Christ Jesus”  Philippians 4:19

 

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